confession #6

i compare compare and compare. oh man do i compare. i compare myself to everything and everyone. i look at blogs and website and pintrest and i think i should be this.... or i should do this or be like that or i need to do that. i do it so much that most of the time i do not even know who "suzie"is. what do i like? who am i? i get so overwhelmed with things that i don't know sometimes.
there are days when i feel good with my life, with where i am and how i live and then i get on line and bam i feel inferior and lacking. i feel like i need my life to be a certain way.... the way i see it on the blogs in others lives. i see it in their writings that i am not even that good at writing so i should stop right now. I see it in their photography and know that i am not even close to being that good of a photographer so i should quit. i compare myself to the clothes they wear and the way they dress their kids. ahhh. I think my kids are pretty darn cute even though they do not wear baby gap all the time and most of their clothes are hand me downs. I don't wear designer clothes or even cute clothes for that matter. my hair is a ragged mess that i almost always put in a ponytail, so i am not someone people see and think "wow she is living the life."
who says living the life has to be like that? apparently i think so. i get down on myself because my apartment is not decorated cute and there is nothing cute about my apartment. why can't i just be happy with they way my life is? i am not going to be able to change it. i can't be anything more then what i am. and what is wrong with the way i am? Nothing. i don't have to have the cutest clothes, or the cutest house or the perfect life to be happy. i just need to live the gospel and enjoy what i have.... why is that so hard to do?? We should all be happy with ourselves just the way we are and not feel like we need to be someone else.... i am going to try really hard this year to be just "ME"