"never forget to be patient with yourself, that some sacrifices are better then others and to be happy now that the "why" of the gospel will uplift you and that your Heavenly Father loves you."
-president dieter f. uchtdorf

Saturday, October 22, 2011

{alone}

there are days..... okay maybe everyday,  i really do feel like Neal never comes home.
he is at school from around 7 am to almost 7 pm. 12 hours a day. and when he does get home he does homework or studying for 2 more hours at least! i really do not have a husband most days. i know he lives in the same house as me and eats the food, i know this because he eats most of the food, and he does sleep in the same bed as me at night, but i don't get to talk to him as much because he is so exhausted from school, and using his brain as he says. i understand this and know i can't change it but some days i want to be selfish and childish and demand that he spends the day with me and the kids..... but even if i do throw a tantrum it won't change anything, he has to go to school. Even today a Saturday he is at school probably for 8 more hours! am i bitter...... not one bit. I am pretty understanding most days but i get tired of doing the parenting by myself! He gets to see his kids maybe an hour a day if lucky. I try not to complain because i know he can't do anything about it and i know he would spend the whole day with us if he could.
This is just our life right now and it too will pass.
maybe someday, years from now, i will look back on this time in law school and miss it.
maybe?
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2 comments:

  1. Susana I DownerOctober 22, 2011 at 10:28 PM

    Suzie

    You are great, I have a similar post in my blog that is just in the draft section because I am not brave enough to post it. No you are not alone, I have been there and in many versions of this moment in your life. But like you said it will pass. Prince charming is out there fighting dragons for you. Hang in there, you are perfectly normal, probably braver than most.

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  2. Alison BerrettNovember 3, 2011 at 10:56 AM

    I'm there with ya Suzie! But believe it or not the third year does come and the light can almost be seen at the end of the tunnel. I too feel like a single parent and it sucks and I only have two kiddos not three! But I just remind myself it's only temporary! Since we are both home alone so much we should get our kids together now and again to play! Hang in there!

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i {heart} your thoughts!

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