{today}

ahhh today i feel like i have no control..... or maybe i am just too lazy?? not sure yet.

so kids are not listening to me today at all, not sure what to do about it. i ask them one thing and they look at me and i know they are laughing inside at me. the only weapon i have to get them to listen to me is threatening bedtime early, most of the time that works but i think that are starting to realize that i am a big fake.... and a wimp. i threaten and threaten and i have a hard time following through. Neal is good at following through, i guess that is why we have a spouse, they are our other half.

so here is the out of control things that they have done today....

emma ran away from me and wouldn't come back until i went and got her.
jacob peed in his toy box..... yes peed. don't know where that came from or why he did it but boy was he in trouble. throwing away all those toys... not even worth cleaning. i was so upset.
emma got into Sams formula and got it all over the floor..... still there haven't cleaned it yet.
emma got into Neal's cologne and now smells like a man.

My life is chaos, some days like today i just want sit on the floor and cry, but i can't.... i can't shut down.
somedays i really do not like being a mom..... it just plain stinks. There are so many other things that sound so much more fun or enticing. but i have to remind myself that i know what i am doing is the right thing. Satan is trying to get me discourage and tell me that because my life is not going the way i think it should then i am an awful mom and i should just give up. I will have faith that even though there are bad days, this is worth it! :)