{i am...}

i am so sick of trying to be something that i am not. i am done not being happy with myself. i want to be who i am.

i am messy. yes i said it. i have a knack for making messes and not cleaning them up. i try really hard to be organized but most of the time it ends up messy again.

i am pleasantly plump. Yep! and i am proud of it too! i love having curves and other things! :) you know what i mean!

i am an eater and a dang good one.... hence the pleasantly plump part of me. i love chocolate and ice cream and cake and pizza. occasionally i love fruit and veggies. I try to have a balance in all things.

i am very passionate. that is the nice way of saying that i get worked up over everything and i am very dramatic. i am also impatient and if things are not the way that i want them i let you know. my husband is wonderful to put up with my emotions although he is the reason behind them most of the time. :)

i am clumsy and ditzy. i drop things and i trip and i lose everything. hence the reason i am messy. i remember when we were dating Neal said that he wanted a girl who was a little bit ditzy, and i said well here i am! i say things at the wrong time and sometimes i am plain out dumb. in high school they were not called "blond moments" they were "suzie moments" but that's okay!

i am a woman... so i change my mind a lot. at times i am a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, and at other times i want to wear a skirt. i love everything vintage but i am awful at decorating and designing so my home is miss matched with out of placed items everywhere and nothing matches... but i love it. who says everything has to look the same.

i am beautiful. oh i know that i am not beautiful in the worlds eyes at all, but that does not matter. i have a big nose, bushy eyebrows and small lips. i have stubby toes and short fingers but they are beautiful because i say i am! i have people who love me and they do not care how i look. most days my hair is greasy and in a pony tail, my make up from the day before has given me raccoon eyes but when i go and get my kids in the morning they smile at me and love me no matter what, that is enough to convince anyone that they are beautiful.

i am me and that is all i want to be. and yes neal knew what he was getting himself into!


i wish i could feel this way all the time but knowing me i will think the opposite tomorrow or next week, but when i feel that way i will read this and remember it is okay to be me!